suicide hotline.

the suicide hotline is on my speed dial. i need help. i'm too afraid to get any. all i really want is someone to talk to. someone to listen to me. it would be nice if it was someone who wasn't a volunteer. i guess i just need to grow up. reality is: no-one really wants to listen to you or hear about your pathetic life. nice guys finish last. if you put yourself out there you will get used and abused. no-one really wants to be your friend unless they get something out of it, or if they don't really have to get to know you that well... haha, but, i must trust that God will get me through. he wouldn't give me more than i can handle. he's cool like that. i need to go to bed. i have to be at the golf course at 8:30 tomorrow.