bad day

so i thought i didn't work today, again. and i was wrong. i didn't work at the golf course. i was supposed to be at the bakery at 3:30. i was not. fortunately they were over staffed tonight anyway and told me not to come in, but i still feel like an asshole. i also managed to destroy a large portion of my clothing with a tube of chapstick in the washer and dryer. some of it was salvaged thanks to some quick action and stain remover. i feel like an asshole. i was going to go buy some new clothes tonight even though i am poor as dirt. (relatively speaking) however, i'm not allowed to buy clothes on my own, and kendra doesn't get home until at least 7 from d.c. so i am sitting at home on friday night doing nothing. i feel like an asshole. no one is online. no one is free to hang out. everyone is out living their lives, at work or at play, and i am home writing on here about feeling like an asshole. and i am cold. and i don't get the hours i was promised at the golf course. i get a lot. but not enough to quit at the bakery. just enough to make it difficult to remember when i have to be where. this weekend is going to suck. kendra is doing displace me. i'm going to work and church. i'm going to be alone all weekend with nothing to do. ugh i hate the cards i'm being handed. and more so i hate the ones i am handing myself.