long time, no see.

i haven't written in here in a long time, and i have recently felt the need. a lot of things have changed since last time i wrote in here. i'm in school at WCU now, and i have a new girlfriend to name a few. but whatever i really wanted to write about today.

We saw Rocky Horror Picture Show last night, it was my second time and i loved it. i dressed in drag and got some great pictures. i started reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" today and got a quarter of the way through. i really like it so far. i probably could have finished it but i had a lot of studying to do so i stopped to do that. i have a chemistry test tomorrow and a calculus test on tuesday and ironically i feel unusually confident about both of them. i studied for the better part of the day today for both and drank a little more than 3/4 of a 2-liter bottle of dr. pepper in less than two hours, so i can't sleep now.

today is one month for abby and i; i really like her. it's crazy to me how someone as incredible as her could fall for a guy like me. it is a big adjustment from my last relationship; we actually get along and i can be totally myself with her without getting criticized or treated like i'm an idiot. she bought me the book i'm reading. i love her and everything she represents. she reminds me a lot of the person i want to be more like: passionate and charismatic, charming and sincere, and breath-takingly beautiful. we are lucky to have each other.

on another note something happened today that inspired some strange feelings in me that i felt compelled to write about:
this morning in the bathroom i saw a bug that looked like a beetle crawling on the window ledge. i didn't want to bug to crawl inside so i flicked it off the windowsill. i thought it had wings but immediately doubted as i watched the unsect plunge out of sight toward the ground. i wasn't even sure the bug died and yet i felt awful about it. a realized as i was peeing that i lived on the third floor and the bug probably hadn't just climbed there if it didn't have wings. however, if it had, i felt even worse because it had probably taken a long time for the bug to get up that high. i gave that up when i realized that bugs probably don't have any sense of accomplishment, and the bug winged or not was probably just looking for it's next meal, where ever that might be.
the moral of this story relates to zen buddhism. my friend Andres got genuinely upset with me the other day when i put a cigarette out on a spider. i am scared to death of spiders and the thought of one less in the world really appealed to me at the time. however, dre's reprimanding reminded me how far i am from where i want to be. i believe the zen philosophy that all living things are somehow related and we must coexist and look out for each other, from the smallest insect to starving children in africa. my total disregard for the life of the spider reminded me that my additude needed changing. All life is endowed by God, and none of God's creations should be taken for granted be it human life or the life of your mutant KFC chicken, or the leaves on the trees out my window that have recently began turning some beautiful colors.

Today was a great day: the best day of my life to this point. it was a gift from God, it was beautiful, i was surrounded by people that love me all day. tomorrow will be better. it always is.